Mourn for Me
by the-vampire-act
Summary: Sam finds himself in New York after the death of brother and goes over the events of the last year..................please review!


Supernatural- Mourn For Me

"...sorry, but because writing "Nightmare" and my new story that I will be posting hopefully soon is taking longer than I expected, I'll write this short one-shot you can read while you wait. My new story that I'll be posting will be a House M.D. fanfic called "Christmas Shoes", which is named afer the song, "Christmas Shoes". You'll find out why I based it on a sad Christmas song when I finish writing it. Yes, it will most likely have a sequal. If you like this story, I can continue, but I don't really think a lot of people will give reviews on this...I only have gotten 2 reviews and I've written 2 stories!! Please review!!"

Sam sat at the bar, begging for more. The bartender was wearily about giving him more; he already had more than he should've let Sam have,but the man seemed upset and didn't have a car,so he most likely wasn't planning on driving home.

"Please, just one more. I'll leave after this, I swear. Just please, one more." Sam begged.

The old man serving him beer was clearly worried about him; probably more worried about him then he was of himself. Sam could honestly say that he didn't give a damn if he made it to back to the cheap hotel he was staying at...he would probably feel better if a car hit him! Sam doubted he would be able to feel the added pain; he wish he was numb inside because all he could feel was the pain from the events of the last year.

Sam's father was dead, girlfriend dead, chances at living a normal live,dead. The most recent death added to te list, Dean's death, crossed the line.

He could feel the guilt, pain,sadness,anger, and depression that washed over him, revealing that his plan to get severely drunk and stupid didn't work out well. Sam was planning on not being able to think at all,though he could only think clearly.

He didn't realixe how late it was until the bartender told him they were closing. Sam left unwillingly to the streets of New York, New York;hoping to get lost in the busy streets that had died and cleared by now.

Sam found himself in this position a lot since Dean died;lost in a busy city with nowhere to go and no one to see.

Walking down the sidewalk was becoming a challenge because he was tired,drunk,and lost in thought. Sam noted that New York city was a beautiful scene when the snow fell from the sky,street lamps reflecting the water puddles left due to the odd snow that was out of season,old buildings falling apart and spray painted, and the lost souls such as his wandering in the cold weather.

Sam's legs were about to give on his body, so he laid out on the nearest bench, which was on a side street surrounded by block buildings.

He was shocked that he wasn't in tears over his brother's death,but smiling.

Minus the chaos and the tears and the depression and the deaths of the last year, and there would be nothing left because that was all of what last year had consisted of.

Sam suddenly realized he was wrong. There was one gain in the last year, and that would have to be Ben.

He knew about Ben, despite his late brother's wishes. He knew Ben was Dean's child and how much Dean yearned for that to be true.

Sam flash backed back to when Ben first told Sam about himself...

_Sam was anxious for his brother to return from his old girlfriend's house,Lisa._ _Bobby had left, heading back to his house._

_Just as Sam got up to grab his lab top to check his email,the phone rang. He answered it,thinking it must be Dean._

_"Hello?" a voice said from the other line. It was clearly a male child's voice, but he wasn't sure what to do,so he answered back. "Hello? I'm sorry, but do I know you?'' he asked. "No, but I know your brother." Sam wasn't sure what to say, so he waited for the voice to start talking again. "Yeah,um...I'm you're nephew...Sam, I'm Dean's son.''_

_Sam dropped the phone, almost going into cardiac arrest when he thought the phone had hung up. He stumbled for the phone ,then started talking. _

_"Hello! Are you still there?" he asked eagerly. Sam didn't know what he would do if the young boy wasn't on the other line of the phone._

_"Yeah. I'm still here." the boy took a deep breath before continuing. _

_"Here,I'll make you a deal. I tell you about how...um...you know...and then you can tell me about yourself. Deal?"_

_The little boy was clearly terrified. Sam didn't think it was fair for the kid not to know about his dad, so he decided to make a new deal with the boy. _

_"How about you tell me about yourself,and I'll tell you about Dean." Sam offered._

_"Okay...I'll start from the beginning,then." He sighed before continuing._

_Sam was eager for the little boy to begin, but still waited patiently._

_"Hi,my name is Ben..."_

_The little boy,Ben, started explaining as Sam listened intently..._

Sam could hear Ben's voice in his head. The little boy had made a good first impression,one that left Sam dazzled and wanting to meet the boy in porson. He wondered if he ever would,but was taken back to real life as a cold hand touched his right elbow.

"Sam." The voice sounded relieved and familiar.

Sam looked to to find Bobby hovering over him. "Hi Bobby." he moaned,realizing how stiff and weak he felt.

He tried to get up from the bench,but was unsuccessful. Bobby halted Sam when he tried to get up again.

"Don't." He looked around,as if trying to remember something. "Here. You need something warm." Bobby handed his friend's son the cup of coffee he held in his hand. He had asked himself what would John do,but didn't like the answer,so he started a new approach.

"I've been worried about you,son. I know you're in pain, but getting yourself lost and killed isn't going to help you. Just...come back to the hotel with me. You're gonna freeze to death if you stay out here." Bobby begged.

Sam sighed in defeat. "Sure...help me up." he said.

Bobby helped Sam up, starting to worry about the color he was turning. "You must be freezing...it's less than 30 degrees out here!"

Sam let out a small laugh that quickly faded. "Yeah,so I noticed."

The rest of the way to the hotel was silent. Sam and Bobby were both too cold to talk as the temperature dropped quickly.

Inside the hotel,Sam looked out the window.

The out of season snow looked light and cloud-like against the rough New York back round. The ground was covered in snow and was starting to pile up into banks.

Sam was in a daze as he stared at the window,searching for any sign of human life,but was unsuccessful.

In the last hour, the only humans that had walked by were the janitor and a family that were checking out of the hotel.

He gave his stare up as the lifeless scene framed by the window was exhausting him.

Sam realized why he had come here in the first place, and realized how entirely different it was to the reason why he was happy.

He glanced at the clock that read 11:02.

Sam decided to get some sleep, so he stripped off of his clothes and into an old pair of plaid sweats and an old baseball jersey. He pulled a light grey hoodie over his head,too.

Sam rolled to his right side as he slowly drifted into a dreamless sleep that wouls surely leave him sore in the morining...

Sam woke up earlier than he planned to wake and again glanced at the clock. 7:22.

Sam smiled in delight when he realized that Bobby had already left to get breakfast, as he realized this when he got up to the bathroom to discover a note.

_"Didn't want to wake you...thought you would enjoy some rest. Going to the gas station to get some quick breakfast. Don't do anything stupid._

_-Bobby..."_

After he got dressed into a pair of faded blue jeans, graphic t-shirt that was faded light blue,and an old sweater,he decided to call Ben.

He picked up his cell phone and scrolled down his contact list until he saw Ben's number,hit send,then waited until he heard Ben's voice break through the constant and repeated rings.

"Sam?" Ben's voice asked.

He was washed with relief. "Yeah. So how are things going?" Sam asked.

"Great..."

Ben's voice continued talking and Sam continued listening.

Sam had made himself a promise to himself:

If it was the last thing he did, Ben would never live the life that was forced upon himself and his brother...

"...there are many things I can do with this story. 1) i can leave it here and never come back to it again 2) i can continue it from this point 3) i can make a series of conversations between Sam and Dean or 4) leave it up to my reviewers to decide what option i take next, which is what im going todo...please review and i really hope this story didn't totally suck!!"


End file.
